My PH Tester Hates Me

Most of us know that lime goes great with tequila, but most people don’t know that lime, otherwise known as dolomite, doesn’t go with my soil. At least it doesn’t when I use a properly functioning PH tester. I started out my day of gardening by testing the PH of my soil. I was planting tomatoes so I was looking for a PH level between 6.0 and 6.5. After testing the soil I determined that I would need to add about two cups of lime to the soil that I had shoveled into my buckets. I added the lime, mixed the soil well, and retested it. My PH meter read the same as before I added the lime! This sparked a streak of curiosity. I decided to try some other soil that contained rotting mulch, leaves, and some other compost that might make it a little more acidic. The needle on the meter, in an attempt to spite me, stood its ground didn’t budge. Only I would put so much faith in a five dollar PH tester. I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and test it one last time. I inserted it directly into the bag of lime. I was very disappointed to see the needle stay stationary while holding in its laughter. It didn’t even give me a little flicker. I refused to accept defeat at the hands of a contemptible piece of junk. It was time to go and pick up a new, functional, and kind hearted PH tester along with big bag of sulfur. Everything would be alright, but I don’t want to end this by leaving you with the wrong impression; I hate lime in my tequila.